I find that I am an extremely busy person, but I really do love my down time, and find I am panicky without it. I also like to feel involved, like I have a variety of opportunities, and be a part of communities. Lately though, I have tried to be respectful of my mental state and not do too much, as I get frustrated, upset, and overwhelmed fairly quickly nowadays. I am aware I need to be kind to myself during such a mentally stressful time, but sometimes, I just don’t seem to be able to help myself.
Today, I ended up agreeing to attend a conference in October for 4 days for our union, and agreed to be an alternate for the monthly meetings. There I was walking to the room for the AGM, saying I need to take time for myself, and then 30 min later I am agreeing to participate in some, to be fair, interesting stuff (and travel, I love staying in hotels). It’s not that I am pushed, or I don’t want to do this, but I worry about the times that I will panic from feeling overwhelmed….but then again I get panicky when I think I don’t have enough to do! It seems to be a damned if you do or don’t situation when you have an anxiety disorder. And as long as they pay for my room service bill at the hotel…..I think I will find a way to be ok with this conference 😉