I thought on this cold and snowy day I would update on my condition, and let everyone know that I made it through one Friday with no phone call from the clinic. I should explain that my doctor works two clinic days a month, and I had the option of moving to another doctor who worked more often and chose not to do so. Overall I can say things are getting better, other than the mental issues I am dealing with still. A LEEP may not be for everyone, but it was the procedure for me. I haven’t had any cramping or discharge in over a week, and I am starting to get back to my normal routine without any pain. I was lucky to not develop an infection, and I find the level of irritation and swelling through my whole body has gone down. I do still feel the scar tissue pulling a little, but it’s really not so bad. What I am more worried about is all that scar tissue and my future periods, and how the scar tissue may complicate that time of the month. I’m hoping like many I won’t have any issues, but I have read (and spoken) to a few people who do have an increase in their pain levels or in back pain. No matter what happens, I would still go through with the procedure as the alternative wasn’t an option for me. I can deal with pain every few months, as I do take birth control and I don’t have a period every 28 days, so really I can work with what I am given. As well, my doctor has spoken about options to break up the scar tissue if it is needed, and while they may be awkward and uncomfortable, they will work.
One thing that has been bothering me is the view that I’ve mutilated my body by choosing this procedure. I would have loved for my dysplasia to regress, or for the dietary and lifestyle changes I made to improve my dysplasia, but that didn’t happen. I think that each woman has to weigh her options, and work with her doctors, but in the end if a procedure is chosen, isn’t it better than what cancer would do to you? Going through the stages and mental stress of dysplasia is bad enough, I don’t know why we have to add to it by all the negativity? I didn’t realize when I began all the testing and biopsies that I was slowly being introduced to an extremely controversial area, and maybe my condition would have improved without extreme measures, but I can’t spend all my time worrying about the choices I made. I know that I made the decision without any fear, or being pushed by my medical team, and that is all anyone can ask. I think in the future we all have to remember that while we can discuss our personal situations, and support each other, we can’t push our decisions on others or make them feel bad for their choices. Using words like mutilation should come with more thought as well, as it’s a fairly strong judgment on a decision that isn’t an easy one in any way.