This site is about my experience with cervical dysplasia, as well as anything else I might feel like discussing!

There are so ma…

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There are so many ways to be brave in this world…..sometimes it’s nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk towards a better life (Veronica Roth, Allegiant)

Sometimes you read a book, or see a movie, that really hits home at the time.  I had that exact experience this weekend, with Veronica Roth’s new book Allegiant.  For those who have not read it, it’s a  three part series of books that explore a young girl’s very painful journey through life in a dystopian future.  The quote above was somewhat of a shock to me, because it’s something I think about every day.  People talk about bravery in this romantic way, that it must be grand gestures, or huge acts of sacrifice, but it also involves smaller acts, like I will be doing on Friday with my LEEP.  I have a choice to face things positively, and grit my teeth, hoping this is the last time I have to be so brave for quite awhile, or I can be negative, and things will be so much worse.

I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, because I do have a lot of them, and sometimes I do opt to hideaway from people or be angry, but overall I try to accept my fate and move on with my life.  It’s sometimes hard to see the good if you aren’t actively searching for it, or to hope when it seems that is really a waste of your time.

We should celebrate the small acts of bravery, like someone facing a painful procedure, someone getting up out of bed the morning after receiving harsh news, or even just someone smiling when they don’t quite feel like it.  This isn’t to mean that people should put pressure on you for these acts, or tell you that you should get past your feelings, you will in your own time.

The end of her book also had another quote that I think is important to remember, especially when your life might seem like a never ending tragedy. “Sometimes life really sucks…but you know what I am holding on for?…..The moments that don’t suck.  That’s what largely supports me through times like these, knowing that this procedure allows me to be around for the good times.


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