This site is about my experience with cervical dysplasia, as well as anything else I might feel like discussing!

Drowning in stress


I’ve been told that when I am overwhelmed by stressful feelings I should write, that seeing it down on paper somehow frees it from inside.  I never know when I will be consumed by stress, it can be a lot of little things that set it off, or it can be nothing.  Sometimes I think I should ask for help, but then the next day I am better, or enough sleep allowed me to be more reasonable.  I hate how I feel like I will fall apart, or things will never get better, and I know they won’t fall apart, and there are plenty of amazing things in my life right now.   It just feels like I have too much to deal with, a demanding job, and a heart condition aside from my dysplasia. I find I hide away a lot more, and that may not be healthy, but then no one is making demands on me….I like that.  A normal request from someone can have me dreading seeing anyone, even if it’s a small task.

I’m going to list things that I am really enjoying right now, as a reminder to myself:

-Whether you like it or not, Survivor has been fun this season.  It’s great to lose myself in the mundane lives of Hollywood wannabes.

-My social media course.  Though it’s a lot of work, I love what I am learning.  I love that it’s not only an outlet for me, but that maybe other women will see it and it will help them.  I think a blog like this, with someone who is very open and honest can really allow for change in our world.  Can allow people to be less lonely, and less afraid.

-Some of my friends, they are there to help and I am relying heavily on a few. 

-The team I work with, it’s an all female group, but they are there to help.  And they do help a lot.  They take work from me, and they listen to me a lot, and put up with what I feel are moods that are up and down.

-My new place.  It’s close to work, close to a mall (dangerous) and a fabulous walking pathway (Bowmount River Pathway).  I have ideas to put in hard wood floors, and paint it a new color, and really make it my own. 

This is all I can really think of right now.


5 thoughts on “Drowning in stress

  1. That’s plenty to be grateful for! Good post! Hope a good nights sleep &/or a quiet evening helps tonight.

  2. HaHa! The dangers of the mall! I feel very much the same way with the stress. I also have some medical crap (that’s what it is you know that hand you got dealt that you don’t have a lot of control over) and you can’t let it get you too far down but some days it does. I think that you tend to fill your life up to avoid letting yourself have time to think about it and then you do get overwhelmed. The shower is a great place to be stressed. Cry away – no one can see you and when you come out it’s like it never happened 🙂 hugs to you.

  3. Thanks Kim, I plan on sleep after my Starbucks run.

    Mel, it’s true. I think that is the worst part for me, that I have no control over the situation. And you are right I keep myself busy, always helping others and not so much myself. I’m trying to be better with that.

  4. It’s amazing how quickly stress can pile up up on a person; so it’s no wonder you want to hide away to avoid encountering any more! I think you’ve got the right approach though, being grateful for the things you enjoy, and loving what you’re doing, and having amazing friends to help you along the way.
    A few months ago I thought my life didn’t have enough stress in it, so I took on waaaaay too much and this month has been a complete gong-show. I just want to turtle and hide away from all of the things I need to do because there are just so many of them that I don’t know where to start. So what I’ve been doing is working on a reward system for myself. If I cross something off my list, I get to do something awesome that makes me feel good – like watching an episode of Survivor guilt free! I know I have other things I should be doing, but if I don’t take time out to do the things that I love (and sometimes things that give my brain a break) then I end up stressing myself out even worse and nothing gets done.
    I think that having things to look forward to – like new floors and new paint (awesome!) – are also a good way to get through the stressful times. Personalizing your space and making it yours is a fantastic idea. And hey – maybe a few trips to the mall to get some ideas and inspiration isn’t a bad idea either! 🙂

  5. Thanks for sharing this, Kristal! Great idea to write the things that are good in your life, I think I will try this in the future, probably sooner rather than later! 🙂

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