This site is about my experience with cervical dysplasia, as well as anything else I might feel like discussing!


My halloween costume….I’m Super Nervous!

Since last night I have been a bundle of nerves, just wish I could stop thinking about the LEEP tomorrow.  I don’t know how people can be so calm about things like this, and I know I shouldn’t worry about something I can’t control, but I do.  I know there is going to be pain, and I know I can deal with it, but I am tired of dealing with it.  Aside from the dysplasia, I have a ton of titanium in my knee due to a fracture, and a heart condition.  I would love to know what it’s like to be healthy and normal……..not sure if anyone knows what that is. 

As well, I don’t think any woman should have to go through any procedure like this fully awake.  I don’t understand how the doctors and nurses think it is “no big deal”, since to me it’s a huge deal.  I’m sure to many women it is too!  It might be bennificial for these same doctors and nurses to go through a colposcopy an a punch biopsy, just so they have an understanding of how uncomfortable and invasive it can be.  This would also work for men with their cancers and conditions below the belt.  And then we wouldn’t have to listen to them go on and on about how it’s nothing.  Well it’s not your life that’s threatened….so I am going to go with it is something, it is something to worry about, and want to avoid.  Though I will mention that when I am there the nurses are very supportive and kind, and they get me through the actual procedure, so I am not knocking them down.  And I know that maybe they are just saying things will be ok, because they hope it will.

I know I don’t have any choice but to face the situation, since it will only get worse if I ignore it, but I’d really like this to be the last time for a long while that I have to deal with any kind of new and horrible medical condition.  I will try and update people over the next couple of days, depending on how I feel.


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There are so many ways to be brave in this world…..sometimes it’s nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk towards a better life (Veronica Roth, Allegiant)

Sometimes you read a book, or see a movie, that really hits home at the time.  I had that exact experience this weekend, with Veronica Roth’s new book Allegiant.  For those who have not read it, it’s a  three part series of books that explore a young girl’s very painful journey through life in a dystopian future.  The quote above was somewhat of a shock to me, because it’s something I think about every day.  People talk about bravery in this romantic way, that it must be grand gestures, or huge acts of sacrifice, but it also involves smaller acts, like I will be doing on Friday with my LEEP.  I have a choice to face things positively, and grit my teeth, hoping this is the last time I have to be so brave for quite awhile, or I can be negative, and things will be so much worse.

I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, because I do have a lot of them, and sometimes I do opt to hideaway from people or be angry, but overall I try to accept my fate and move on with my life.  It’s sometimes hard to see the good if you aren’t actively searching for it, or to hope when it seems that is really a waste of your time.

We should celebrate the small acts of bravery, like someone facing a painful procedure, someone getting up out of bed the morning after receiving harsh news, or even just someone smiling when they don’t quite feel like it.  This isn’t to mean that people should put pressure on you for these acts, or tell you that you should get past your feelings, you will in your own time.

The end of her book also had another quote that I think is important to remember, especially when your life might seem like a never ending tragedy. “Sometimes life really sucks…but you know what I am holding on for?…..The moments that don’t suck.  That’s what largely supports me through times like these, knowing that this procedure allows me to be around for the good times.


Blogging Experience/Zen of Social Media Marketing

I can’t believe it’s only been one week that I have been blogging, it wasn’t easy to start or to consider putting myself out there in a very exposed way, but I am glad I did.  I don’t feel nearly as exposed, and it helps me direct stress in a more healthy manner.  I am noticing some of the trends that were mentioned in Shama Kabani’s book “the Zen of Social Media Marketing”.  I haven’t blogged all weekend and my views are much lower than when I have published something, and she suggests blogging a minimum of twice a week.  I think if one wants to really build their base, posting every 2nd day would be more beneficial.  You want people to remember you are around, but you also want to make sure you have substance.  Over all, I have really enjoyed the blogging experience, and I love how it’s already connecting me to people who are in a similar situation.  Even if they don’t comment directly, I think a blog like mine (one with a social purpose) can be very effective in relieving some fear and stress about shared medical conditions.  I do hope that as I continue to write, that people start feeling more comfortable about discussing things with me. I would actually like to see Shama explore that more, twitter, facebook and blogs can be more than just business builders, they can be mediums of social change.  It’s not just that social media has changed how we communicate, but it can be used to create further change, and more open dialogues in our world.

I do feel that text books like Shama’s or “Likeable Social Media” can benefit new learner’s to this medium, but I do feel they focus too much on business, and/or marketing strategies.  It’s too narrow a focus.  We need to expand the definition of what social media can do for us, both as individuals and our society as a whole.  I think she would be wise to add a chapter in her book to this effect.

I would rate this week very high for how much I have come to enjoy blogging, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings. 

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Not such a Zen feeling

I agree, I also think she spends too much time focusing on how hip and cool she is… I get why she might be doing that, to appeal to younger readers, but it. Comes off hollow and vain. I do like the lists of what each social media needs to be successful.

ESS meets ADL310

I think that “The Zen of Social Media Marketing” by Shama Kabani highlights great ways to effectively market a brand using social media. However, I do wish that Shama would tone down her self-promoting ways; it would make the book far more enjoyable to read. Maybe then I might feel the Zen, as I think learning about social media the marketing way, rather than learning about social media the technical way is a great idea.

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Evaluation of a Social Media website

This is a course related blog, so I apologize to anyone who is here for other reasons.

I decided for my 2nd website I would evaluate one that deals with social media.  I found Tara Hunt’s blog through WordPress, and so far I am very impressed.  I remember the text book discussing that people like to look at beautiful and well organized websites, since we then infer that the people also hold characteristics like this, and know what they are doing.  Her blog is so well organized that I have no trouble navigating it.  She has a row of important tabs on the top that link to information about her background, and if you wanted to hire her the site links to her company, and right away you are told what the company provides.  No frustration searching for anything.

I also like that she uses pictures.  I’ve read in a number of places that for a blog you should never just have text, that links, hyperlinks, and pictures break up the information, and might draw someone into a blog post. There are links to other social media websites, an though she may be more into marketing, she seems to have very strong social media skills. The articles are informative, but a bit long.  Overall I think this is an excellent way to market oneself, and your company.


Drowning in stress

I’ve been told that when I am overwhelmed by stressful feelings I should write, that seeing it down on paper somehow frees it from inside.  I never know when I will be consumed by stress, it can be a lot of little things that set it off, or it can be nothing.  Sometimes I think I should ask for help, but then the next day I am better, or enough sleep allowed me to be more reasonable.  I hate how I feel like I will fall apart, or things will never get better, and I know they won’t fall apart, and there are plenty of amazing things in my life right now.   It just feels like I have too much to deal with, a demanding job, and a heart condition aside from my dysplasia. I find I hide away a lot more, and that may not be healthy, but then no one is making demands on me….I like that.  A normal request from someone can have me dreading seeing anyone, even if it’s a small task.

I’m going to list things that I am really enjoying right now, as a reminder to myself:

-Whether you like it or not, Survivor has been fun this season.  It’s great to lose myself in the mundane lives of Hollywood wannabes.

-My social media course.  Though it’s a lot of work, I love what I am learning.  I love that it’s not only an outlet for me, but that maybe other women will see it and it will help them.  I think a blog like this, with someone who is very open and honest can really allow for change in our world.  Can allow people to be less lonely, and less afraid.

-Some of my friends, they are there to help and I am relying heavily on a few. 

-The team I work with, it’s an all female group, but they are there to help.  And they do help a lot.  They take work from me, and they listen to me a lot, and put up with what I feel are moods that are up and down.

-My new place.  It’s close to work, close to a mall (dangerous) and a fabulous walking pathway (Bowmount River Pathway).  I have ideas to put in hard wood floors, and paint it a new color, and really make it my own. 

This is all I can really think of right now.