Since last night I have been a bundle of nerves, just wish I could stop thinking about the LEEP tomorrow. I don’t know how people can be so calm about things like this, and I know I shouldn’t worry about something I can’t control, but I do. I know there is going to be pain, and I know I can deal with it, but I am tired of dealing with it. Aside from the dysplasia, I have a ton of titanium in my knee due to a fracture, and a heart condition. I would love to know what it’s like to be healthy and normal……..not sure if anyone knows what that is.
As well, I don’t think any woman should have to go through any procedure like this fully awake. I don’t understand how the doctors and nurses think it is “no big deal”, since to me it’s a huge deal. I’m sure to many women it is too! It might be bennificial for these same doctors and nurses to go through a colposcopy an a punch biopsy, just so they have an understanding of how uncomfortable and invasive it can be. This would also work for men with their cancers and conditions below the belt. And then we wouldn’t have to listen to them go on and on about how it’s nothing. Well it’s not your life that’s threatened….so I am going to go with it is something, it is something to worry about, and want to avoid. Though I will mention that when I am there the nurses are very supportive and kind, and they get me through the actual procedure, so I am not knocking them down. And I know that maybe they are just saying things will be ok, because they hope it will.
I know I don’t have any choice but to face the situation, since it will only get worse if I ignore it, but I’d really like this to be the last time for a long while that I have to deal with any kind of new and horrible medical condition. I will try and update people over the next couple of days, depending on how I feel.